Ha!

So, I totally got fired from my job. I guess passing out at your desk (which was located in a conference room, not even in a cubicle) is never a good idea. Even if you put a pen in your hand so it looks like you are writing something. Oh, and reeking of alcohol probably had something to do with it too. Whatever, temp jobs suck anyway. They can stuff their own damn envelopes. On another note, I'm on my way to being broke. Yay! At least I still have an unpaying internship. That will prevent eviction! Wait, no it fucking won't. Ah, fuck it. And, this picture is of the door of opportunity closing in my face.

Fabulous!

So, I'm gay. The title of this blog may have given that away, or maybe you thought it was some sort of inside joke, or an allusion to something literary, but it's not. I wanted to put gay in title. And I was eating toast at the time. So that's the story of my blog title. But what I wanted to get into today was how complicated being gay can make things. The other day, my boss (famale, just turned 30, very pretty and fun, not married and works out at the same gym as me) asked me if I had a girlfriend. I don't, so I said no. Then she asked, "Do you want one?" This was my third week at the job, and I totally froze up. How does one answer this in a socially acceptable way that doesn't make the other party feel like an insensitive ass? So I said, "Maybe, who'd you have in mind?" Luckily my boss was only making a half-assed effort to hook me up with her previous assistant and the conversation/topic/issue never got any further than a promise from my boss to give said female my e-mail. (haha, rhymes) So I never had to say anything that explicitly said I was gay. But, why didn't I want to? Maybe it's because I work in the office at a factory where the twenty-odd 40-something men who work there are probably homophobic. Maybe. But I kind of liked the fact that I was not ooozing homosexuality so blatantly that my boss thought I would make a good match for someone she knew. I like people thinking I'm straight! They actually think I'm straight at my other internship as well. We are working promotions at the Gay Pride Parade and my supervisor is falling over himself to make sure I'm not offended that I have to participate in such an event. But why can't I just say, "No! I'm so excited to be part of the Gay Pride Parade! I'm totally gay myself!" It's cuz I don't have any gay pride. Or, I do, but only when I'm part of an anonymous crowd at a parade, or in a notoriously gay neighborhood, or very drunk at a skanky gay bar. I feel like this should bother me? But at least if they asked me outright I would certainly say "Yes, I'm gay." But until then I am thankful for this passport to the straight world where I can be someones sister's blind date and innocently enjoy jokes about a pirate theme for our parade float from "their" side of reality.