Shit

Man what the fuck? It's almost fucking June, I graduated like, three fucking weeks ago and I am still a lazy fucking bum without a goddamn job. I'm not upset, why would you think that? I am just worried about the impending announcement from my money-provider and mother about how I burn through money without even thinking. Hey, is it my fucking fault that food costs money? And real Parmesean Cheese costs fucking more? WTF. Seriously, I'm fine. I had a job interview the other day. But I haven't heard from them in a week. And that's the only job I've interviewed at. Look, fuck this ok? I am so tired ot the real world, why would anyone ever want this shitty existence for themself? ok, i'm gonna try and reel in the pessimism. The weather is great lately! I can still afford copious amounts of alcohol! I am enjoying the free time while I have it! I will be hired soon, don't you know that I am a National Merit Scholar finalist? I would find a link for that shit but, I'm not really caring at the moment. Thanks, talk to you soon!

Life's falling together

The weather today was fantastic. I wish I was outside right now. I looked at the apartment that will soon be mine today, it's over in Logan Square. Well, the east side of Logan Square, according to the Apartment People's map. I have no idea what is over there, restaurants, bars, stores, who knows. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, there was some confusion about which unit is supposed to be ours, so I'm hoping we get that worked out soon so I can sign the lease. I'm excited to move, really. Things are going really well in the "dating" department, too, so all I need now is a job and I'll feel like a full-fledged adult. That's what you're supposed to be after you graduate college, right?

30 days, then 30 years

In exactly one month I will officially be a college graduate. Isn't that great? It's hard to be excited when I don't have a job lined up in what the Wall Street Journal is calling "the rockiest job market in recent years." But honestly I'm not THAT worried. Stuff always works out for me. I'm more concerned about where I'm going to live when my lease is up on May 31st. I am like 90% sure about who I will be living with, but we have yet to figure out which neighborhood will work best for us. Somewhere close to the train is all I really require. And close to some restaurants. I figure I'll be working in the Loop so any train can take me there. The restaurants are so I can take guys on dates there and then we can casually end up back at my apartment where I'll slip in a DVD which we won't watch as we make out for hours with the music from the DVD menu playing in the background.

Anyway, back to the job issue. I will probably just start temping again, hopefully I won't get fired from an assignment this time around. I'll be working weekends at the restaurant too, bussing tables. I'm just too lazy to actually start serving. But maybe I should and try to make that a full-time gig, at least for the summer. Reality: that's not going to happen. I have this small dream that I will be able to become a free-lance graphic designer in my spare time. I am even getting the full Adobe design suite free from some kid in my class who overheard me asking about how much it costs. I mean, he downloaded it illegally but whatever. That's my dream this week: graphic design!

Is time even moving?

Well, it's halfway through the week, a good solid hump-day, and I'm bored out of my mind. Not because there's nothing to do; exactly the opposite, really. I'm supposed to be researching junk mail for an advertising project (my senior thesis, or "capstone project" in Loyola-speak) but I told myself that I was going to do that after I go to the gym, but I'm putting that off too, just because it's kinda far away. Not that far, only a 10 minute bike ride, but it just feels early to be starting the chain of events that will end with me doing the research. If there was ever a better reason to pointlessly post a blog, I never heard it. Oh, there's also tons of stuff I should be doing for the clubs I'm in, PRSSA and IABC, since I decided it was a good idea to have an executive board position in not one, but TWO student organizations my senior year. Who am I trying to impress? Oh yeah, graduate schools and prospective employers. Regarding employers and this blog, I'm always half-worried that something I write will bite me in the ass, but I'm also half-hoping that someone will read this blog and offer me a job writing for gawker.com or something. I have journalistic cred! I'm taking Reporting and Writing this semester, sees ah canz write storees.

Actually, I really just wrote all this because I took this really cool, semi-anonymous picture this weekend and I thought it would be perfect for my blog. Also Hannah Montana was a repeat (well aren't they all) and so was Ned's Declassified Survival Guide, Law & Order, True Hollywood Stories: ANTM and after that I just stopped channel surfing, it was making me sad.

Fine, I guess i'll go! Unless there are some new blog posts that I've missed..... I'm gonna go check that out.

A month later...

Jeez it's been a month since I was fired and I sort of have a new job? I've been doing the "gigs" on craigslist.com. They pay more than $10/hour and I get to sleep in usually. The downside is that the jobs aren't regular, and I haven't made enough money to pay my rent. Good thing my mother still sends money! Passing out flyers while wearing a bathrobe on Michigan Ave was a pretty fun experience, though. I hope someday I can tell this story to someone and sound like a cool person.

On a side note, I always have great ideas for shit to write about, then when I get on here all I do is write about my stupid job. I'm going to try better. I mean, I'm a single, gay, hearing-impaired, cash-strapped, recreational-drug-using senior in college. Shouldn't my life be more interesting? Really, I'm gonna try.

Ha!

So, I totally got fired from my job. I guess passing out at your desk (which was located in a conference room, not even in a cubicle) is never a good idea. Even if you put a pen in your hand so it looks like you are writing something. Oh, and reeking of alcohol probably had something to do with it too. Whatever, temp jobs suck anyway. They can stuff their own damn envelopes. On another note, I'm on my way to being broke. Yay! At least I still have an unpaying internship. That will prevent eviction! Wait, no it fucking won't. Ah, fuck it. And, this picture is of the door of opportunity closing in my face.

Fabulous!

So, I'm gay. The title of this blog may have given that away, or maybe you thought it was some sort of inside joke, or an allusion to something literary, but it's not. I wanted to put gay in title. And I was eating toast at the time. So that's the story of my blog title. But what I wanted to get into today was how complicated being gay can make things. The other day, my boss (famale, just turned 30, very pretty and fun, not married and works out at the same gym as me) asked me if I had a girlfriend. I don't, so I said no. Then she asked, "Do you want one?" This was my third week at the job, and I totally froze up. How does one answer this in a socially acceptable way that doesn't make the other party feel like an insensitive ass? So I said, "Maybe, who'd you have in mind?" Luckily my boss was only making a half-assed effort to hook me up with her previous assistant and the conversation/topic/issue never got any further than a promise from my boss to give said female my e-mail. (haha, rhymes) So I never had to say anything that explicitly said I was gay. But, why didn't I want to? Maybe it's because I work in the office at a factory where the twenty-odd 40-something men who work there are probably homophobic. Maybe. But I kind of liked the fact that I was not ooozing homosexuality so blatantly that my boss thought I would make a good match for someone she knew. I like people thinking I'm straight! They actually think I'm straight at my other internship as well. We are working promotions at the Gay Pride Parade and my supervisor is falling over himself to make sure I'm not offended that I have to participate in such an event. But why can't I just say, "No! I'm so excited to be part of the Gay Pride Parade! I'm totally gay myself!" It's cuz I don't have any gay pride. Or, I do, but only when I'm part of an anonymous crowd at a parade, or in a notoriously gay neighborhood, or very drunk at a skanky gay bar. I feel like this should bother me? But at least if they asked me outright I would certainly say "Yes, I'm gay." But until then I am thankful for this passport to the straight world where I can be someones sister's blind date and innocently enjoy jokes about a pirate theme for our parade float from "their" side of reality.